Remembering you
The day you left, I went through all my old journals, frantically looking for the first mention of you. Searching for little details I can no longer recall---any morsel of information that may have been lost to my subconcious. The memory of you is fading, a little at a time and I can feel myself forgetting. I don't want to forget.
- Lang Leav
I don't really quite know whatever that whole thing is. Neither can I comprehend it all. But what I know is I feel happy now. It's like I can finally let go like how I should have done so. However at the same time, it feels incomplete not thinking of you, not wondering what you're up to, not missing you. It's difficult for me to put it in words when all I wanted was to move along. And then again it occurs to me, that I absolutely do not want to see the future without you in it. Can you see the complexity of this and how exhausting it makes me feel? To be stuck between two opposite feelings and not knowing which one it really is.